Axe Dragger - Axe Dragger (The Bad Review)
A tried my best to do a "bad review"!
Strangely or not, I’ve been commissioned, or dared, however you wanna look at it, to write a bad review about an album.
Surely there are lots of bands I could do that, without breaking a sweat!
It’s very easy for me to conjure my rage, the same way Ben Stiller’s character on the underrated comedy flick Mystery Men, whenever I listen to Bon Jovi. It’s not that the music is bad. I’m pretty sure at some point, even I liked some of it, in my formative years. The drummer is awesome, and I would honestly love to hear Tico Torres playing with other bands. I’m pretty sure we would slay those skins. I feel he would be a more interesting player outside the confines of the band. To me, Chad Smith as proven that concept, time and again.
But those Jon Bon Jovi overtly simplistic, hormone driven, teenager grade lyrics of his, just rub me the wrong way.
“I’ll be There For you!“
“These Five Words I Swear to you“
At least he can count to five, right???
But to rhyme you with you?!?!?? Come on man, can’t you do better than that?
Here’s a sample of David Lee Roth’s brilliance, for inspiration:
Dig those moves, vampire
Set me loose, get it higher
Throw my rope, loop-de-loop
Nice white teeth, Betty Boop
Set it cool real heavy
I ain't fooled, gettin' ready
(Van Halen - Drop Dead Legs)
On top of that, the person who asked me to undertake this feat is none other than the lead singer of the band, Mr. Terry Glaze.
A musician I now have the honor of calling my friend. Who was gracious to accept having, what would reveal itself to be, an extremely interesting and lively Zoom Call with yours truly.
One of the topics of our conversation apart from Pantera (Yes! This man was the lead singer with the band, for their first three albums), was obviously his latest offering, a super-group, no less!
Line-up:
Fredrik Isaksson - Bass (Dark Funeral)
Minnesota Pete Campbell - Drums (Ex-Pentagram)
Bob Balch - Guitar (Fu Manchu)
&
Mr. Terry Glaze - Vocals (Ex-Pantera (Yes, he was in Pantera, get over yourself!), Lord Tracy, Raised By Gods, Evel Frehley)
Sure I could start by saying that supergroups are a recipe for disaster.
For every success there’s an abysmal failure, which is to say for every Audioslave there’s a Chickenfoot.
Chickenfoot is the abysmal failure in case you’re wondering. Another fine example would be SuperHeavy (I didn’t remember this either, so don’t feel bad!).
Anyway, we can safely assume these guys all come from various quadrants of heavy music. I could start by saying the music doesn’t gel. That the songs are disjointed and directionless.
But, the production values are spot on. Even if these musicians have never been in the same room together, you would never assume that from a production / mixing standpoint.
I could say this is just a nostalgia thing, devised by guys who miss the old days. They took queues from Riot, Armored Saint, Iron Maiden and Judas Priest, and filtered them through modern production values.
Although the riffs are reminiscent of the previously mentioned bands, that doesn’t mean they don’t sound fresh. Because they definitely do.
The serpentine riffs and acrobatic solos abound. The songs never sound dated or boring. They’re always playful and challenging.
So, no luck there!!!
Let’s concentrate on the aquiles heel of many modern bands, the vocals.
Many of today’s lead singers, have a penchant to hide behind studio trickery, to get through the recording sessions and live performances as well. As do drummers, with pro-tools and the lot….
Despite that, Terry Glaze as proven over the years he his undoubtedly one of the most underrated singer in heavy music. He possesses an amazing range, that can change from a wailing falsetto to an aggressive / menacing lower register, with ease and precision.
Surprise, surprise he deploys is arsenal here! In what is probably the heaviest records he has ever participate, his voice fits like a glove. Elevating the music to a different level instead of hampering it. Singer in a lower register or in a higher register, according to what the song warrants.
The years and experience he has amassed over the years, serve him well.
OK! And What about the artwork?
Surely its some sort of AI drawn cover, that would make the guys from Hypgnosis roll over in disgust!?!?!?
Wrong again!!!
Seldon Hunt was able to create artwork that fits perfectly with the music. Inspired by the past, without being bogged down by it.
It has the right amount of panache and aggressiveness, to show what this band is all about.
Suffice to say, I wasn’t able to discredit or criticize senselessly a record that is as much of a tribute to the past, as a celebration of modern metal. Because let’s face it, these newer bands that play metal, owe all of their traits to guys like these.
And if Terry’s kids say that he has done a good job, who are we to disagree???
Here’s hopping that the band is able to record more albums, and do some live shows around the world to spread this Axe Draggin’ juggernaut.
Terry sounds damn good!